


Kiss Me

by AndiMackmeetsHeathers



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2020-12-27 16:37:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21121919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndiMackmeetsHeathers/pseuds/AndiMackmeetsHeathers
Summary: What would have happened if Kira had never turned up in 3 x15? How would things have gone down?A fic very loosely inspired by Ed Sheeran's Kiss Me."You avoiding me?""Never.""Admit it. You're dating her, aren't you? Why don't you trust me enough to tell me that?""Look, I knew it alI along. I knew that you preferred her to me. That confirms it. I can see why. Goodbye, TJ.""I don't get it, Cyrus. Why do you care about me so much?""Because I like you as more than just a friend!"





	Kiss Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! Sorry this isn't very good, it's not a proper song fic but it for single song lyrics and is loosely based off a beautiful Ed Sheeran song called Kiss Me. If you haven't listened to it already, go give it a listen! 
> 
> All rights for the lyrics go the rightful artists and songwriters (including Ed Sheeran) and all of these characters belong to Terri Minsky. 
> 
> Sorry again if it isn't great, it's rushed. Please leave a comment if you enjoy it, all feedback is appreciated! 
> 
> Thankyou and have a nice day! (:

Cyrus sighed, exasperated, as he stirred his chocolate ice cream round its tub idly. It had felt like an eternity since he had last seen TJ; it felt like TJ was always with Kira. That was a good thing, though, wasn't it? All things considered, it meant that TJ was happy, and if TJ was happy, then Cyrus was happy, too. 

Well. That was a lie. 

Fortunately, TJ had asked to meet up with him alone and Cyrus had finally thought that perhaps his unrequited crush (unrequited, as far as he was concerned, anyway) didn't hate him, after all. But that didn't stop that familiar flare of jealously burn his insides; he felt like he was being stabbed in the back every time he saw TJ put his arm around Kira and not him. He knew that he was being dramatic, but it was in his nature to do so, and it wasn't harming anyone. 

Buffy, his best friend and trusted confidante, was the only person who knew about his feelings within this situation; she somehow instinctively knew these things. Cyrus was so grateful for her-even when she had her own issues, she would still take time for all through things with him. 

Only her and Andi knew about Cyrus' feelings towards TJ and Cyrus intended for it to stay that way.

Little did he know, that certainly wouldn't be happening.

He felt too nauseated and overcome with jealously and an underlying, inexplicable sense of betrayal (as though TJ had chosen Kira over him) to possibly consider eating his ice cream. He just needed to purchase something to not get kicked out, that was all. Food was the last thing on his mind right now. 

Cyrus looked up and noticed TJ approaching him, looking miraculously almost upset as Cyrus was. That was odd. Shouldn't a guy who had just got a girlfriend be a bit happier than that? 

Cyrus furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, still stirring his melting ice cream casually. TJ was here, now. Cyrus straighened up and fiddled with the bottom of his shirt, as was his custom when he was nervous around TJ, before glancing up and making eye contact. 

  
Settle down with me, cover me up and cuddle me in.  


TJ sat down, his soft green hoodie matching his emerald eyes and the nature surrounding them. Why did he always have to look so perfect?

"Hey." 

"Hey." 

Why did TJ sound so sad? His crush liked him back; that automatically made him fortunate, in Cyrus' eyes. He should be smiling. Waves of guilt overwhelmed Cyrus, and he considered himself almost mean for mentally dictating what TJ could and couldn't feel. 

Surprise had led him to think that way, mainly, and bitterness, to some extent. Primarily, though, he just wanted TJ to be happy, really, if nothing else. 

"You avoiding me?" 

Cyrus held back a gasp; he was completely taken aback by the blunt question- it wasn't in TJ's nature to be so straightforward, but the question itself was more bothersome to him than anything else, and problematic at that. It practically took everything they had so carefully built up together and threw it in the bin. 

Cyrus frowned. Was TJ serious? Why would he ever have reason to believe that he didn't wanted to spend time with him? 

"Never." 

TJ pulled a face, looking almost upset for some reason or other.

Kind of feels like it." 

Cyrus stared at TJ inquisitively at this throwaway remark with his chocolate brown, gorgeous eyes, and he wondered if he was being analysed, in the same way Cyus parents and step parents (all of which were herapists, bear in mind) did with their clients. He really does not, as it would be patronising. And this was Cyrus, at the end of the day. 

Still his first proper friend, his first crush, and still the only person he could talk to like this.

"You've been...otherwise occupied." 

TJ furrowed his eyebrows, not quite getting it; his mind had been regularly occupied by Cyrus, and how awful it felt that he was avoiding him after Costume Day. 

Of course, he had intended to tell Cyrus all about Kira's manipulation, but then he would be outing himself to Cyrus, who didn't even like him back. He wasn't ready for that sort of rejection just yet.

Besides, if Kira found out that he had mentioned something (as she inevitably would; it was as though she was psychic, or something. Seriously.)She would be furious, and would consequently out him to the school.

Paralyzed with fear, TJ kept steady eye contact with Cyrus and hoped he wasn't sweating too much right now. 

"You've been spending a lot of time with Kira." 

TJ felt like scoffing and telling Cyrus the truth about the way Kira was treating him. He simply frowned, instead.

"Not a lot." Cyrus raised his eyebrows, unimpressed. "Some." TJ admitted reluctantly. 

Cyrus had seen TJ with Kira between classes, at basketball practice. Before school, at his locker-where they used to hang out together, after basketball practice at the Spoon. He hated it so much, but he was just being selfish-TJ seemed to be hitting it off with Kira, so she was surely a nice person. Still, Cyrus wasn't stupid-they spent a lot of time together. 

"The bulk of." 

Had he? TJ thought back to all the times he had been with Kira, recently-at basketball practice, in the library, at their lockers-and suddenly realized that Cyrus was right. He'd also picked up on what Cyrus was implying, and it was not true-Cyrus was the only person he could ever imagine having feelings for. 

"We're just hanging out." TJ reassured Cyrus as casually as he could. 

Cyrus, ever persistent, had other ideas, however.

"You two are clearly hitting it off. Which is great." He enthused. "I'm happy for you." 

If only he could stop being so selfish and genuinely feel happy for TJ. 

As if I'd ever go on a date with Kira, TJ thought to himself. I'm gay, for one. Oh, and in love with you-if only you could wake up, stop being so oblivious and see it already.

Only, TJ didn't want that. Not really. As much as he loved to imagine being with Cyrus, it was a dream, a fantasy-it could never and would never happen. He would rather have an unrequited crush on Cyrus than a requited crush on Kira. Ugh. No thanks.

"You make it sound like we're a couple." TJ exclaimed in disgust. "We're not." 

He placed a particular emphasis on the word 'not', to make his point obvious. 

Cyrus just stared at him in disbelief, and TJ's heart started to beat as quick as lightning; there was something so charming about those sparkling eyes, whether in the height of joy or the depths of concern. Not to mention his hair-it looked so fluffy. And why were his cheekbones so perfectly structured? He was like an angel, or something. TJ couldn't stand Cyrus looking at him that way, seeming so unconvinced and upset, forcing him to continue.

"We mostly just talk about basketball." 

That didn't mean they weren't a couple, though -Cyrus was pretty certain that Marty and Buffy had discussed basketball and running before; how was this any different? 

As much as he trusted his crush, he still wasn't entirely convinced by what he was saying.

"And then you gave her a piggy back ride?" 

Because that devil insisted and wouldn't get off me, TJ wanted to say. He didn't, but he did tell Cyrus a slightly watered down version, because he deserved TJ's honesty. Hell, as far as TJ was concerned, Cyrus deserved the world. 

"She bet me I couldn't carry her, that was all." 

Why did he have to justify his relationship with Kira, anyway? 

Cyrus didn't know what to say without coming across as a bad person; he wanted to see Kira from TJ's perspective, to see her as a genuinely good person. No matter how difficult that was.

Blinking back tears, Cyrus forced a bright smile on to his face, articulating the only thought running through his mind. 

"She seems fun." 

"She is." TJ responded brightly, causing Cyrus' heart to hurt a little. He tried not to wince. "You should hang out with us." 

Which, in TJ's eyes, actually meant: please help me escape this demon, she's practically torturing me and making my life a living hell and I seriously can't put up with her without you, my favourite person, around, for any longer. 

Cyrus, hang out with Kira? As if. She hated Buffy, for one, and had treated her badly for absolutely no reason at all. Buffy didn't deserve that, and Cyrus felt this been more strongly than most other people would considering how defensive he was over his best friend. She has treated Buffy poorly, and Buffy didn't even like her-she was a wise judge of character, and usually wasn't wrong about people. Why would TJ hang out with her?

Of course, Cyrus had blatantly avoided the elephant in the room-his jealousy. As much as he didn't wish for TJ to discover that Cyrus was jealous, be couldn't help but occasionally imagine what it would be like if he did (in an alternative universe where TJ liked him back, that was).

Maybe Cyrus would hang out with Kira when hell froze over.

Cyrus scowled, which made TJ feel slightly uncomfortable. TJ shifted in his seat, ever so slightly. 

"I'm not sure how much Kira would want that. She knows I'm Buffy's best friend, after all." 

At least his cover up wasn't a complete lie.

TJ contemplated this in silence, biting his lip. What Cyrus had pointed out was true, of course, but he could sense some kind of undertone to it; of what, he couldn't quite comprehend.

Still, why wouldn't she want to hang out with Cyrus? Everybody liked Cyrus; he was the nicest person ever and undoubtedly the best person TJ knew. Kira would have to accept that he wanted Cyrus to hang out with them; no ifs, no buts, nothing.

"I'm sure she would." TJ smiled, his voice as upbeat as he could possibly make it. 

To Cyrus, it sounded fake and patronising, as though he desperately needed the reassurance or something. For the record, he didn't; he knew Kira didn't like him, plain and simple. Perhaps she'd figured out that Cyrus had romantic feelings towards TJ. Cyrus' palms became slick with sweat, and ghostly pale, his hands shaking as this happened. She couldn't know. Nobody could. He dreaded to think what would happen if they did.

Sure, Kira didn't like him-he just really hoped that it was because of Buffy, and not because of that. 

"I...don't want to be stuck as a third wheel. Been there, done that." Cyrus chuckled, with a weak smile tossed in to the mix. 

"But you wouldn't be." TJ pointed out, in confusion. "Like I told you, we're not a couple!" 

He could feel his frustration growing with the knowledge that most of the evidence that he wasn't dating Kira linked back to his sexuality. Of course, he could have simply not liked her. Every time he told her that over text (his only evidence), she'd bring back her threats. 

When Cyrus spoke, his voice was sharper than usual, shocking TJ temporarily.

"Why are you lying to me?" 

TJ groaned and wished he could bang his head against the table in despair. That wasn't an option, however, so be would just have to make do with what he could- his voice. 

"You seriously think I'd betray your trust like that?"

Cyrus' eyes watered up.

He thought about when he had trusted TJ with the Reed incident. Look how well that went down; Cyrus thought that he could trust TJ to stand up to Reed and leave with Cyrus, to stand up to peer password-but he didn't.

And what about Costume Day, huh? 

He had trusted TJ enough to not let him down, to arrive in his matching costume so that he wouldn't humiliate him. Where did that end up? 

In heartbreak, just as it was now; it appeared that when Kira was involved, Cyrus couldn't trust TJ for anything, and TJ couldn't even trust Cyrus enough to tell him who he was dating. That was unbelievable.

He decided that he had to be honest with TJ. He needed to know the truth.

"I don't even know, anymore."

TJ gasped, his own eyes welling up with tears (as Cyrus observed), and he suggested that they should go for a walk in the park. Cyrus simply nodded, muttering something incomprehensible to himself.

Obviously, TJ wanted to open up to Cyrus, but how could he? So much was in jeopardy, so much was at stake.

His Christian parents, for one. Although they had never specified to TJ what exactly their beliefs were about gay people, he was scaredthhat they weren't going to accept him and that he would be disowned for his sexuality. Where would he go? He loved his parents, and didn't want to leave them. In that regard, he was trapped. 

In addition to this, what about his place on the basketball team? It was a position he knew he should never take for granted, but the possibility of them finding out that he was gay only worsened these feelings; many of his team mates seemed to hold homophobic views, and he didn't want them to kick him off the team. 

He loved basketball; it was his only talent (in his opinion) and one of his only passions. To TJ, basketball was escapism, a way to feel good, and a way to boost his self esteem, as well as being something be was interested in. He wouldn't risk admitting to being gay just so that he could have less worries and burdens, because he knew that he would have to sacrifice basketball to do so.

Wouldn't he? 

Plus, what about homophobic bullying? Sure, TJ was more than capable of looking after himself, but it would be torturous to endure. As much as Cyrus was his best friend and always the only person he could talk to like this, his sexuality was simply a part of his life he couldn't reveal. 

Or so he thought.

TJ sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. What was he going to do about this? 

"Trust is a mutual thing, you know. It goes both ways; I trust you, Cyrus. At least, I think I do, and-" 

"You say you trust me, but you won't even tell me the truth." 

Cyrus' voice was tinged with sadness, TJ noticed. 

He had a point, to be fair-Cyrus wasn't wrong in claiming that TJ hadn't told him the truth. 

"Admit it. You're dating her, aren't you? Why don't you trust you enough to tell me that?" 

"I do trust you!" A flustered TJ insisted, getting more and more worked up by the minute. 

Cyrus raised an eyebrow, unimpressed.

"Oh, really?"

"Really. It's not what you think it is, I swear." 

Cyrus rolled his eyes, fed up at this point, and placed his hands on his hips.

"Then, what is it?"

"I-I don't know." 

"You don't trust me, do you? Actually, don't answer that-I don't want to know." 

"Why are you so upset about this? Just chill out, already. Seriously. Besides, you don't get to be the mad one, here. Do you understand how hurt I am that you've clearly been blatantly avoiding me, and then lying to me about it? Yet you have the audacity to get worked up? Of course I trust you, Cyrus-why would you ever think otherwise?"

Cyrus' eyes widened as he realised how selfish he had been about the situation, and how bitter he had acted towards TJ, the accusatory tone he had taken; his judgements were erroneous, to say the least. Perhaps he was deluding himself, making up trust issues between them that weren't there-and the only one struggling with trust here was Cyrus himself. Guilt washed over him and he squeezed his eyes close. When he opened them, they were wet and the trees around him became brown and green blobs. 

Frowning, TJ stepped forward and touched Cyrus' shoulder, asking him if he was alright. Cyrus shook his head and took a deep breath. Noticing this, TJ took a step backwards to let him speak, before noticing a bench ahead of them. Tentatively, they bot sat down, their knees touching, and Cyrus spilled his heart out to the guy he liked. 

"I've been treating you awfully...I'm an insecure person, so I guess it's partly rooted in that. All the same, that's no excuse for the things I have said and the way I have spoken to you-you can do what you want, you can date who you want and be with whoever. Recently, I've just kind of believed that she was coming between us, you know? Please tell me that I'm not the only one feeling that way." 

"No, you're not." TJ began. "I've been seeing things that way, too-but I can't tell you why I'm hanging out with her. I'm sorry, it's nothing personal, and it's not about you, don't worry. It's just so difficult to explain, so complicated." 

"We've been through a lot, sobsurely we can get through this, Teej." 

  
Lie down with me and hold me in your arms.  


TJ's lower lip began to tremble, but he fortunately managed to retain his composure nonetheless-it was what everybody expected him to do. They'd only walked about five hundred metres, and they'd already stopped. Today definitely wasn't going as well as he had planned it to. He wasn't sure about Cyrus, but he was almost certain that Cyrus had planned for them to argue, today; he was usually the most diplomatic person TJ knew. What had changed, and what had driven Cyrus to treat him like this? If he was so insecure, that would be a consistent thing, right? 

Unless this was about Kira, and that there was more to it than Cyrus had claimed. Well, there was more to this than Tj had claimed, too, and Cyrus didn't quite get that. 

"I don't think that you would understand. Normally, you would understand-but this time is different." 

"How is it different?" Cyrus questioned, his voice gentler than it was before. 

TJ shrugged and stared off into space. Despite Cyrus always being there for him and deserving to know the truth, he just couldn't afford to face up to the consequences of his actions if Cyrus found out. He had done that once already, with the incident involving Reed. No, scratch that-twice, if you counted Costume Day and how he had led to their little argument. 

Only, it wasn't so little, was it?

TJ groaned and buried his face into his hands, wanting to sob. Cyrus watched him, curiously, wondering what was going on in TJ's mind. He usually wouldn't hide anything from him-sure, he didn't open up to just anyone, but as far as Cyrus had been made aware of, he wasn't just anyone-he was the only person TJ could talk to like this. Did this principle still remain, now? Whatever TJ was hiding from him, was undoubtedly highly personal for him to be so silent. He missed the happy, bubbly TJ-the nice guy who could always open up to him, the one who truly cared about him. 

The one he had fallen for. 

Not to get him wrong, he was still very much whipped for the boy sat next to him-but things were different, now. Off, almost-although Cyrus couldn't quite put a finger on how. Maybe it was the built up bitterness or the secret keeping, or something else completely. 

It was all so frustrating. 

Why couldn't things between them just go back to the way they had been?

Still, there was no going back from this dispute-both of them knew that, but struggled to comprehend it. Cyrus felt a shift, a volta in their relationship dynamic. 

Finally, after an agonising minute, TJ articulated his thoughts, distraught. He wiped a shaking hand over his misty eyes. 

"It just is, okay?" 

"I'm sorry, I never meant to push it or be insensitive, I-" 

"It's fine, don't worry. I do have a question for you, though." 

"Yes?"

"Why were you avoiding me?" 

Cyrus' muscles tensed up; he hated confrontation, so today had been a lot-but this question was one of the hardest things to deal with.

"You were otherwise occupied when you were off spending time with Kira, and happy without me-I just want you to be happy, that's all. I never intended for it to be this way." 

"Neither did I." TJ muttered, almost to himself, before speaking louder. "I missed you, Cyrus." 

Cyrus' breath caught in his throat. TJ Kippen had missed him? Why? It wasn't as though he contributed anything to TJ's life. 

Did he? 

"I missed you too, TJ." 

  
And your heart's against my chest, your lips pressed in my neck.  


That's when they had a Moment: both of them understand everything about each other, yet nothing at all. Their connection was more powerful than either of them could have possibly imagined as they shared a look, chocolate brown eyes staring straight into emerald green ones. 

  
I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet.  


Ugh. Why was Cyrus so gorgeous? TJ's heart began to race and his eyes automatically drifred to Cyrus' lips, which looked so soft, and kissable... 

Damn, he had it bad for Cyrus Goodman, 

Cyrus bit his lip, anxiously, as his eyes met TJ's. Why was TJ so charismatic, withthat wicked glint in his eye and his infectious smile? It was too much for him.

TJ eventually broke the silence covering them like a blanket. 

"Cyrus?" 

"Hmm?" 

"Is this all about Kira, then? And nothing, you know, to do with me? Like, you're not avoiding me because of, well, me, are you?

"No, of course I'm not-it's her. She was horrible to my best friend." 

"I was, once. Or don't you remember? You gave me a chance, after that. Why can't you give her a chance?" TJ challenged, raising an eyebrow. "Or is this not about her rivalry with Buffy?" 

Palms pale and sweaty, Cyrus gripped the bench, watching the world become a merry-go-round. Subsequently, he closed his eyes, and realised that his breathing was becoming shallow. 

Ears ringing, Cyrus faintly heard TJ ask him if he was alright, but it didn't seem to register with him properly, for some reason, and he was only vaguely aware of TJ's arm wrapped around his shoulder, or his concerned glances. He'd figured it out, hadn't he? That Cyrus liked him, that was. He thought he was going to throw up, or perhaps die-maybe even both. 

"Cyrus, are you okay? Cyrus?" 

TJ was trembling now; Cyrus was far from okay and they both knew it. For one, he didn't look as though he had seen a ghost, but rather as though he was the ghost, which was terrifying. His eyes were glazed over, he wasn't registering what TJ was saying to him, by the looks of things, and he looked like he was about to throw up. What had he done? This was a mess. Today was a mess. 

And, of course, it was all his own fault.

Water. That was it. Cyrus needed water, and to take a deep breath. He would get through this, and TJ would help him do so.

The whole situation seemed to be reminiscent of the time when Jonah was having a panic attack and TJ helped him out by getting Cyrus' Dad. Only, Cyrus' Dad wasn't exactly around to help out this time, was he? 

TJ took a deep breath, ready to ask Cyrus if he was alright again, when Cyrus mumbled something incomprehensible, barely loud enough for TJ to hear. 

"What was that, sorry?" 

"I said, do you know?" 

"Do I know what? Cyrus, you're scaring me. I'm going to find some water, alright?" 

Cyrus shook his head vehemently, and Tj was reminded of how stubborn his crush could be at times. 

"No. Stay. Please help me." 

"Getting water will help you, but-uh, take a deep breath, just in and out. In fact, I'll do the same-if I do it alongside oyu, it iwll be much easier for you to do whilst in this state, I'm sure. Got it?" 

"Yeah." Cyrus' voice was faint, almost weak. 

That being said, they both practised some breathing exercise together. TJ might have had a look online, after Jonah explained about his panic attacks, and, upon finding out that Cyrus occasionally suffered from them too (as a side effect of his anxiety), he had researched how to help others with them. Of course, the internet wasn't always the most reliable source, but it was the thought that counted, wasn't it? Besides, some of th einformation on there happened to be very useful. 

Like in their situation, for example. After approxiamtely five minutes or so, Cyrus seemed considerably calmer and more rational. 

"Sorry, Teej." 

"Don't apologise. You have nothing to be sorry for." 

"For ruining your day, perhaps?" 

"Nah, you haven't. Seeing you improves my day, if anything." 

"It does?" 

"Yep. Now, back to the quest-" 

Cyrus folded his arms and folded them across his chest defensively. 

"I'm not obliged to answer that, I'll have you know. Just look at where it got me. Look, I'm sorry for being rude, really I am, but you can't just expect me to whip up an answer like that?" 

As the word 'that' passed Cyrus' lips, he snapped his fingers to emphasise his point. TJ rolled his eyes. 

"Come on, Cyrus. It's a simple question that requires a simple answer." 

Cyrus contemplated this in silence, knowing that honesty was the key for a healthy relationship, but ignoring it blithely; he could never be fully truthful with TJ, or he would hate him forever, which was more than he could bear. 

"Look, I just kind of felt....abandoned, you know? We were supposed to be dressing up together for Costume Day. We used to hang out at your locker together, first thing in the morning, or don't you remember? We were the ones who would hang out together after basketball practice, but after Costume Day, that all seemed to change. Because of her. That day, I thought you were sick of me, that you were abandoning me and deliberately letting me down. Don't get me wrong, ot because you're a malicious perso or whatever-for the record, you aren't and you never will be-but because you preferred her to me. It was as though, on that day, you chose her over me, and it hurt. I'm not going to lie, TJ. Not to you." 

Cyrus, I had no idea-" 

No, you never did, and I wouldn't expect you to, either. It hurt because I thought we were close, because I'm only human so of course I have emotions and feelings, and because I felt like you were betraying me that day by choosing her and not me. I know that sounds weird, over-exaggerated and too dramatic, but it's what's going on in my head right now. I thought you were dumping your friend over your crush, and that now you're together, I should be happy for you even though I'm bitter and jealous because I was kicked out. You asked me that question, so you know what? There's your answer, regardless of whether you like it or not, TJ Kippen." 

TJ could only stare, wide eyed and open mouthed, in shock at what Cyrus had just told him.

"It's-I mean, you shouldn't read that deeply into things, Cyrus. You really shouldn't. Over thinking isn't good for you, you know. Of course I'm not abandoning you; don't be ridiculous. Just get over it."

Many emotions hit Cyrus like bullets, all at once: anger, confusion and sadness. Anger-at TJ for casually insulting him like that and being so rude, despite his good intentions. Confusion-as to why TJ was reacting like that when he hadn't been in that type of mood or been thinking that way a mere minute or so ago. Sadness-that their relationship had come to this.

"Fine." Cyrus scoffed. "You know what? I will." 

"What do you mean?" 

All of a sudden, TJ didn't feel so well. 

"Look, I knew it. I knew it all along. I knew that you preferred her to me. That confirms it. I xan see why. Goodbye, TJ." 

Oh, no. This was all his fault, again. Classic TJ. Anything good, he just had to ruin it, didn't he? 

Stupid, stupid, stupid. 

"No! Wait, Cyrus. Please don't go!" TJ practically begged.

"Why not?" 

"Because we need to talk things through." 

Cyrus glared at him, his eyes blazing.

"I don't think I can manage that, right now, given the current mental state I'm in and everything. Hell, I'm hardly capable of rational thought at the moment."

"Because of me?" 

Cyrus rolled his eyes.

"Hmm, let me see. No, the Easter bunny has been bullying me all morning. What do you think?" 

TJ stepped back slightly after Cyrus snapped. Suddenly, Cyrus looked world weary-absolutely exhausted and as though he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. He rubbed his eyes, blinking multiple times as his eye watered, and turned away from TJ.

TJ turned so that he was facing Cyrus, both stood awkwardly on a footpath surrounded by a patch of dewy grass and a row of tall trees, which were gleaming iridescently in the sun. 

It was almost enough to distract Cyrus from the situation he had with TJ. 

Almost. 

Then again, almost was never quite good enough, was it? 

TJ frowned, titling his head in confusion. The sunlight bounced off his hair, creating a stream of golden light all around TJ and making it look like a halo. TJ looked almost angelic, in that moment, and Cyrus temporarily softened, before remembering TJ's sharp tone with him after he'd had the courage to spill out his heart to the guy.

TJ ran his hands through his hair, making it abundantly clear how stressed he was, as well as confused. He simply didn't get it.

"I'm just a bad person. Mean, selfish, rude. Horrible, at times, I'll admit it. Yes. Xkenrihjt horrible. And you're the last person who deserves that, the last person who deserves somrcodh like me. That's why I don't get it." 

"Firstly, you're a good person who has made a few mistakes and you know what? That's okay. I've been awful today, too. It's not me and I'm not proud of it, but our mistakes only make us human, don't they?" Cyrus pointed out. "Also, you don't get what?"

"I am a bad person, and hopelessly insecure, but I'll l get back to that later." TJ thought out loud, before raking a deep breath ajd continuing anxiously. "don't get it, Cyrus. Why do you care about me so much?" 

Cyrus' breath became shallow and his heart began beating out of his chest. So much was at risk, here. There was so much to lose-mainly, his relationship with TJ, who would probably hate him if he spoke the truth.

All the same, he didn't know that and couldn't make people's judgements for them. That wasn't right and he knew it. Yes, he would be taking a huge leap of faith and risking making things awkward between them and maybe even making TJ hate him, but he neber knew until he tried. 

You couldn't just live your life in the fear of taking a risk, or you'd always be wondering what could be, always living a half life as a she'll of a person. Fear should never dictate your life-courage should. 

That's why, with his eyes squeezed firmly shut and on the verge of tears, Cyrus decided to take that leap of faith despite the risks. It was the best way to live his life, and besides, TJ deserved to know the truth-so now, he was finally about to discover it.

This was it. He had to do this. It was now or never. 

"Because I like you as more than just a friend!"

Both boys gasped at the same time. Cyrus, who wouldn't look out of place on a tomato farm, clapped a hand over his mouth, obviously regretting his impulsive decision to reveal his feelings for TJ. He was so woozy that he could hardly stand, and his vision was obscured by the thick, heavy tears that were filling up his eyes. If he stayed there any longer, he would throw up in front of his newly revealed crush, and that would severely worsen the situation and do the impossible: make the situation more humiliating than it already was.

He couldn't believe he had just done that. Why had he confessed his feelings to his unrequited, straight crush? He wouldn't have dared to do that to Jonah, so why would he do it with TJ? 

Inherently, he was fully aware of the answer to that question. His bond with TJ, the connection and the chemistry, the inexplicable pull to him and the feeling of love-none of those things had been present when he had liked Jonah. None of them. Sure, they had great platonic chemistry, but it wasn't quite as intense as it was with TJ.

Still, TJ could tell at him or hit him or run away or- 

He was doing none of that.

He was just stood there, in shock, with his mouth in am open and perfectly rounded 'O' shape, as though he didn't quite know how to react. And he wasn't speaking. That was the worst thing of all. 

Shouting would have been better than this. 

What was Cyrus going to do now?

TJ couldn't believe it. He actually, legitimately could not believe what was happening right now. His jaw was on the floor and he probably looked so stupid, but he didn't care; he was ecstatic. TJ pinched himself, to make sure he wasn't dreaming, and he could have sworn that he had forgotten how to breathe, despite his heart beating at the speed of light. 

Was this real? Was Cyrus lying, or pranking him? 

It wasn't like him to do such a thing, though. Still, it was practically impossible to comprehend: Cyrus Goodman, TJ's first, only and long time crush, liked him back. That was insane! He was pretty sure he was insane, at the time, just stood there helplessly, not even saying anything. Only Cyrus could drive him speechless and it should be considered an achievemen, TJ decided. 

He wanted to hug Cyrus, who was looking extremely upset, and kiss him and twirl him around and shout and scream at the too of his lungs and- 

Cyrus was shaking and sobbing now, about to run away and appearing like a startled rabbit caught in headlights.

Cyrus broke the silence first, making steady eye contact with TJ as he did so. 

"I'm sorry about everything. I wouldn't be surprised if you're disgusted, or you completely hate me. I'll go."

This broke TJ out of his stupor and with that, he stepped forward, grabbing Cyrus' wrist with an iron- like grip.

"No. Stay. Please." 

"Why? So I can be humiliated further? So you can reject me as politely as possible and explain that, although you're straight, you still really care about me and want to be friends? Because if so-" 

"None of those things."

"Then what...?" 

"Because I want you to know that I could never, ever hate you. At all. Literally ever. Not once in my entire life, I can guarantee you that." 

"I don't get it." 

TJ took a deep breath as he stepped towards Cyrus. This was it. It was now or never. 

  
And with a feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now.  


He cupped Cyrus' beautiful face into his hands, stunning Cyrus into silence instantly. 

Then, he kissed him.

  
Kiss me like you wanna be loved, wanna be loved, wanna be loved.  


Time stopped. The world around them, everything-it just fell away. 

Electricity ran down Cyrus' spine as their lips touched, and he was more energised than he had ever been in his entire life, and that he was the luckiest guy in the world to be kissing the incredible TJ Kippen.

TJ Kippen was the luckiest person on earth, there was no question about it. Or possibly heaven, seeing as he felt like he had died and gone to heaven as warmth flooded through him, from head to toe, at the touch of Cyrus' soft lips. 

  
This feels like falling in love, falling in love, we're falling in love.  


Needless to say, neither of them wanted this moment to end. It was magical, and so much more than they could have possibly dreamed, with Cyrus' hands in TJ's hair and TJ's arms wrapped around Cyrus' waist.

When they actually broke apart for hair, Cyrus giggled as he placed his firehsd on TJ's. 

"That was exhilarating." 

"You can say that again." 

Cyrus giggled again and TJ gave him his biggest heart eyes.

"So, you like me back, huh?" 

TJ smirked. 

"What helped you figure it out?" 

"Maybe when you kissed me, I don't know..." 

It was TJ's turn to giggle now. Cyrus shifted from foot to foot, looking nervous. 

"TJ?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Would you-would you like to go out with me?" 

"On, like, a date?" TJ clarified. 

Cyrus nodded enthusiastically. 

"And maybe...be my boyfriend?" He added shyly.

TJ hugged him. 

"That would be amazing. Now, would you like to go to the swings and talk things out?" 

Cyrus reached up on his tiptoes to give TJ s spontaneous kiss on the cheek, causing TJ to blush. 

"I would love to."

  
This feels like falling in love, falling in love.  
  
We're falling in love.  


**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to leave a comment if this so much as made you smile! All feedback appreciated and comments are responded to! 
> 
> Thanks for reading my fic, have a great day and look after yourself! (:


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